The truth

As the Japanese says, 

Yes, hello my friends from high school, my classmates, everyone, who’s reading this post. The truth to be spilled out today!

I’m a bitch. I’m a saint. I’m heartless. I’m weak. I have different faces that I put when dealing with different people. Right now, I put the saint face with my classmates. Most of them don’t know how a bitch I am and how I cursed A LOT. Nowhere near saint huh? Secondly, I am a bitch when I’m comfortable with someone, to show my alter ego, and not being afraid of them judging me. Thirdly, I can be as heartless as you can imagine. Sometimes, I ignore kids crying just because I feel that it annoys me. Yeap phew there you go. Why do I, do we, put on different faces with different people? We all do. Admit it. You may not realize it. Well, that is how we adapt. We be more polite with a more classy people around us. We be a badass with those who enjoys life to the fullest. I know who I am when I’m driving alone. Only I know that. It is not easy to find someone who can accept you the way you really are. We’ve been denying our weakness, but deep down, we know. 

So who you are tonight?




Tonight I’m eating pizza and watching Grey’s Anatomy. I love watching Grey’s Anatomy. I watched it religiously since I’m in high school. It’s the movie that makes you want to be somebody. Grey’s Anatomy makes me want to be a doctor. The thrill, the sacrifices, the hardwork, and the joy of making others smile, even when you don’t get the credit.

Tonight I’m watching this and thinking how sad I am, that I can never pursue my dream ever again. A lot happened. I am never a brilliant student. What I do is that I always push myself to do something bigger than myself. I go against me. I have to earn what I want. I struggle with Mathematics while loving Science, convincing myself that I can do it. Then depression hits me and everything falls down. Boom. Now, I’m pursuing law. Deep down, I am still in love with medicine. It hurts so much that I can’t be in love with it anymore. I stopped following all the cool doctors on Instagram, I avoid getting updates about medic on Twitter, I avoid any medical related shits, so that it wouldn’t remind me of my crushed dream. 

I always cannot imagine me not becoming what I always wanted. But that happens today. Sad and depressing yes, and I am still living, still okay.

I hope this journey lands me somewhere I know I have done everything I can that’ll make me satisfied with my life. 

I’m numb.


Premenstrual Syndrome.

Premenstrual syndrome (PMS) refers to physical and emotional symptoms that occur in the one to two weeks before a woman’s period. Symptoms often vary between women and resolve around the start of bleeding. Common symptoms include acne, tender breasts, bloating, feeling tired, irritability, and mood changes.-Source : Wikipedia

My PMS would always be mood swings and stomach ache. That’s all. It occurs a week before I get my period. But my stomach ache hurts like hell. I’d be rolling on the floor, screaming. Mood swings in terms like I would get super irritated by little things. I’m like a ticking bomb. 

Last week, I have been having my PMS. This time, it was different than my usual PMS. Imagine me being so quiet in class until to the point that my classmates asked me “Are you having problems Julianna?” And I said no. Like seriously, nadah, I got no problems. I am just not in the mood to talk. Today, my teacher noticed me staring into the wall hahaha. She also asked if I got any problems. I said no. You know what’s in my mind? 

I reeeeally want to pee. 

Me staring into nothingness while thinking that I want to pee. I am so lazy to go to the toilet cause its so gross. Once I did go, I FEEL SO MUCH BETTER. Like wtf PMS! I’m moody and being so quiet but actually I just want to pee. Okay so next time if you want to do something just go do it before you get even more moody. 

Now I’m having fever plus period.

#bestrong HAHAHAHA cause it never ends. 

During this time, we women tend to be more sensitive (depends on people), get easily irritated, and can be angry with petty things. I got this tips from Twitter ; 

A good tips indeed! Need to remind this to myself so that I won’t let others down when I’m having PMS 😁 Breathe in, breathe out. Clarify that you’re having PMS to avoid any misunderstanding. 

How was your experience with PMS? 

I can go to events already 

Hi! Waddup readers 🤓 Last Saturday, I attended the ASEAN YOUNG ENTREPRENEUR CARNIVAL 2016 at Matrade, Kuala Lumpur as an invitation from them. Lemme brief you bout the event. #AYEC2016 is a 2 day program, the main purpose is for our young entrepreneurs to network, meet investors, pitch your idea, and all that. It really benefits those who are hungry to build more connections. The 2 day event are divided into 3 parts, 

The first day and second day is The Expo (free for everyone to come) and The Field (have to pay, there are invited speakers from ASEAN countries), the closing ceremony of the second day is The Applause (Have to pay also, award night). This event also gives awards to the selected companies and entrepreneurs! The award night is The Applause. 

I got the all access pass. (Sounds damn cool)  which I get as an invitation 😎 

Guess what, I came for The Applause only haha. I am really excited for the awards night! I dressed up formally, arrived at Matrade 2 hours early before the night, just to walk around and I got asked if I have my business card. 

Like, I’m 19 and I am here because of an invitation onlyyyy gosh. They’re all grabbing clients aren’t they! 

The whole price for the 2 day event is RM350. This is a seriously a great chance  for youngsters, startups, anyone, with great ideas, and the will, yall need to be here and meet awesome people. To succeed now we are the ones that have to search for opportunities. Be HUNGRY! 

Okay now I’m hungry imma go eat. 

Thank you for reading 👽