I did a lot of bad stuff that nobody would ever imagine me doing. From taking off my hijab to drinking…it definitely shocked a lot of my friends. I see one by one people leaving out of my life, permanently. I apologize if I’ve let down anyone who’ve seen me change. I’m sorry for what I am now. But..
You want me to be honest? I am not religious. Ever since having depression my faith have decreased day by day. I’m in the phase of trying ‘things’ out. Whatever rebellious thing you have in mind, but not all haha! I smoked before but I didn’t become addicted at all, luckily, I just have the urge to rebel and ruin my health for a while haha.
Friends, I understand that with what I’ve become now, you must want to distance yourself from me. I admit I do feel hurt. Sad. I can’t blame anyone because I push people away all the time. I always ruin my relationship with other people.
So this comes back fair to me. When I share pictures on Instagram, I do it because well I want to share and I like what I’m doing at the moment. Again, if you feel like you’re following a bad person that gives such a bad influence, just unfollow me. Friends nor family, I don’t mind.
I also understand that you mustn’t want a person who used to drink etc like me to be anywhere near or breathe the same air as you, scared that I’d spread out my sins haha. Slowly I am trying to accept the fact that some people just doesn’t want you to be associated in their life anymore. For that reason, I am backing off entirely. Life is full of suspense of what shit is gonna happen next and whether the shit will float or be flushed smoothly.