Do’s and dont’s at the GYM

Ok some of it are just pure common sense but here you go, what you should do and should not do when you’re at the gym!


  1. Bring a small towel, don’t want your sweat dripping off on the machines…
  2. Wear a proper workout outfit and shoes. A cool and light material is the best kind of sporting attire. Do not wear sneakers peeps especially if you are planning to use the workout machines!
  3. Ask the person in charge at the counter if you do not know how to use a machine. It’s okay if it is your first time and you don’t even know how to use the treadmill, be brave and ASK! 
  4. Preferably do some research on types of workouts and the proper way to exercise or warm up before coming to the gym. You don’t want to hurt yourself by assuming you know how to use the machines. Unless you have a trainer or a friend there.


  1. Bring kids or your whole family to play around and disturb the people around who are trying to workout. If you do, please monitor and control them.
  2. Do not bring men into the women’s area and vice versa. Respect the rules and the people who wants that kind of privacy. 
  3. Do not simply use a machine if you don’t know how, this is to avoid any injuries and from you looking silly infront of everyone.

I think that’s it? 

Comment below of the do’s and dont’s at the gym that you can think of!

I lost another 3kg! Latest weight is 82kg. 3kg more and I am no longer is the 80s range weight 🙆🏻 Come one peeps, YOU CAN DO IT. 

Prozac fades away

My usual Saturday routine is going to the gym around 7pm. 

Was working my ass off till 9:30pm and then the last exercise I did was just a short run on the treadmill.

Incline 15, Speed 4

I started feeling empty, and sad. After a while of having depression you kinda know when it suddenly appears. You know that this is not the normal sad anymore. I was in the middle of my workout, and guess what appears?

That feeling.

Prozac helps a lot. I have less of these feelings, but they still do come once in a while, in the least expected time. This does not mean you should not try exercising as a part of therapy! Try, it helps. But for some, it just won’t go away. What a messed up thing isn’t it? All I want to do is just drive far far away, but I  control this overwhelming feeling and forced myself to go home and finish my howework, also read some books. I realized that wow, I really do need Prozac. I trust that for some, depression would and could heal, and hey, I am still working towards that, and hopefully I will. 

And so will you.

I feel like I’m falling down so hard, and crying non stop. God make it go away, if Prozac won’t. 

Shit, I just realized..


I learnt one thing as I grow up. Make your own decisions. Stop searching for answers in Google, or love tweets account on Twitter, or anywhere else. I have this love problem thingy. It involves deciding whether I should just walk away or stay. So I looked for quotes related to relationships on Twitter. Most of it sounds like this.. “Leave him if he’s not worth your time” and such as related. We may have not realized that how much of what people say on social media can influence what we decide daily. It can be relationships, family problems, financial issues, studies and etcetera. I took notice of how dangerous this is as I almost did something that I would’ve regret my whole life for. Luckily I stopped allowing myself from depending on answers from strangers.


We always rely on people for answers to our problems, and when we don’t have anyone to talk to, we search for it on Google, Twitter, Facebook etc. No matter how right it may sound coming from another person, we must think thoroughly on our own first. I decided to not give up yet on this guy that I am interested in as I feel like he’s worth the effort. Not all things come easily to us right? We have been blinded by this love fantasy that is portrayed through drama’s on television, thus, influencing our expectations when getting to know someone or finding a partner. This I believe, is one of the greatest trick of the world on us. Listen to your heart, but make sure to use your brain to distinguish between a stupid or a smart decision. It depends on the person itself also, whether you should listen to your heart or your brain. In my case, I have been thinking too much, analysing every single data in my brain, that until one point, I have to just trust my instincts and do what my heart says. If it doesn’t work out, well, fuck it. Life fucks up at one point or another.


Sneaking into Dorothy Perkins

The 2nd dress I tried at Dorothy Perkins. SO GORGEOUS!! The peek-a-boo of my boobs although it can’t be seen hahaha….sadly.
The 1st dress! Classic striped dress. Super cute for casual wear. And the fact it has sleeves, which can cover my fat arms.


I surveyed some dresses at and this particular brand-Love, Bonito has the most beautiful sorts of dress! This one is Sholly Scallop Midi Dress in Red (MYR169)


Orosia Printed Pleated Midi Dress in Pink (MYR175)



Donette Lace Overlay Midi Dress in Dusty Blue (MYR205)


I find window shopping a therapy for me whenever I feel like I have nothing to wear and I need new OOTD pictures. Do I buy the dresses? OF COURSE NOT! I just love the feeling like I am shopping for clothes, but the process ends at the changing room and not up until the counter. Plus, I can’t afford buying clothes every time I’m stressed out. So, I happily walk into Dorothy Perkins at AEON Bukit Tinggi, which I rarely go to because I’m always underdressed to even be in Dorothy Perkins. I don’t belong in it! Haha. But that day I rebelled. I was wearing a shirt and black jeans with slippers, surprisingly, the staff there treats me very well, as if I look like I were to buy something hmm. I took 2 dresses and walaaa!

I actually prefer sleeved dress as it helps to hide my wide back and fat arms, which I find unflattering at all. Sadly, most of the dresses at are sleeveless. I think they need to bring in more sleeved dress!

Whenever I go to PADINI, they don’t have any dresses that fits my size. All skinny ones. Grrrr. I stare at the size which I am sure can fit my thighs. Okay one thing I remember while writing this, for XL-sized girls, fret not, get your bras at Pierre Cardin that is available at AEON Bukit Tinggi and any other shooping malls, they have the best lingeries, and they often have SALES! Just wait for the sales ladies, it is so worth it. I bought 2 bras for MYR88, the original price for each is MYR100+. Be patient and keep your eyes open for the sales okay!


The Disappearance of Julianna

Based on my previous post, I shared with you about my Prozac prescription. Then I went MIA for quite a while and I apologize for that. I really do.

I missed an appointment right after my last post which causes me not having any Prozac in hand as I was told by the nurse to wait for the next appointment to get my prescription again. Another month without meds. It was hell I tell you! But the withdrawal symptoms only lasted around 2 weeks for me. After that, I was okay again. Surprisingly yes. Life has been quite okay, I am more happy and active. I think it is because I am busy with school work and because I have a good friend at school, so that makes me enjoy my day. Currently, I am back on 40mg of Prozac and the doctor will evaluate me next month to see whether I need to increase my dosage up to 60mg or not.

To be honest, I am not doing really okay now. I sometimes get too excited or happy, and then I’ll be sad or emotionless for days. Exercise is strongly recommended for those who are depressed. Trust me, I have been to the gym at least twice a week, it became a routine, I enjoyed exercising. I have registered the membership as well! My goal is to lose weight. (Which is still in progress hehe) The weird thing is, exercising does not give me any effect to lift up my mood. One day I can be at the gym for 2 hours and then the next day I will be laying on my bed, being unproductive, sleeping too much and depressed all over again. I was hoping that by exercising would help me somehow. Now I have to find other ways to battle my depression. For once I thought I was okay, that I am getting better. Then, it comes back again.


It doesn’t really go away.


I have 2 thing in my mind now, that is to start writing again and study. Other people do much more difficult things in their daily life and I can’t even do these 2 things!!! Frustrates me the most. I can’t seem to focus anymore. I skipped school because I don’t understand anything the teacher is saying and I feel lost. So why bother coming to school when I can spend time studying alone, and you know, just try to pick up the pace. That is my plan. Take 1-2 days off, even though I am not allowed to do so as I have tons of coursework to do, but I just need a break. I know my teachers and friends have been so fed up with me not coming to school, but I guess I’m sorry? I have to think for myself first. Just let me have one day all to myself, for me to study everything again, and at least feel like I am having control of my life, you know? I don’t care what anyone think of me. I have to make things right. Once and for all. Study and write. That’s it. Simple.


I have to do it.

This is for you Aubrey!

A sweet girl named Aubrey requested for me to do a more thorough review on the 6 matte lip creams that I won from Kamelia Cosmetics. Sure girl! Anything for you. And to be just clear, I will be 100% honest of how I feel after quite some time using their matte lip creams 😉

Okay by the first swipe, the colour is seriously pigmented. The lip applicator though is a bit hard for me to line my lips, it’s not that precise, I suggest you girls wear a lip liner first and then only you apply the MLC. Always, always, scrub your lips or use a wet cloth after shower for a smooth sexy looking matte lips 👄 I love how the MLC stays for a long time and the infused Argan oil feels good whenever I apply it. I have a sensitive skin so I usually can feel the reaction on my lips if there’s something funny with the lipstick, but not with Mermaid Matte Lip Cream! Also, it does not smudge easily. It stays put. Loveeeee 😍 

The cons of the lip cream is, after eating, the colour changes a bit. Especially if I eat oily food. Some other lipstick would get off, but this one, the colour becomes ugly and one time I actually didn’t notice this happening! So embarrassed gosh. My lips look like I ate a sugar donut icing haha. I strongly suggest that after eating etc, check your lips and always bring a wet tissue or a makeup remover to wipe off the mess and apply a new layer! Leceh lah  untuk I to be honest, lagi-lagi bila kat sekolah kan, tak sedar that my lips nampak macam apa je 😭 jadi kena prepare check and betulkan my lipstick. If you want to wear this, I remind you again, bring a small mirror and wet tissue just if anything goes wrong!! 

From the top : Pearl, Nixie, Ariel, Jewel

I love the first 3 shades!!! Can mix & match. Jewel doesn’t suit me 😂 there’s another 2 shades but I gave it to my girlfriends hehe. If you are not a fan of a strong scent of lipstick, this is perfect for you. It has this sweet soft scent, and no you won’t be able to taste the scent on your lips. 

*RM39 each (Instagram : @kameliacosmetics) 

To be honest again, would I buy them again one day? No. I don’t know if it’s just me that’s having the problem after eating because I never had any problem like that with other lipsticks I have. I just don’t like the feeling of insecure of how my lipstick is a mess or not at the time. So yes, I am not sure about the reviews from others, but you can always check their Instagram and see what other girls think about it okay? 

Umm that’s all I can think of for now. Got more questions? Feel free to comment! 

Thank you for reading 💋

The look on her face

I had been skipping schools for almost a month, just right before my 1st semester examination. Depression hit me hard at the time. I started on Prozac by then. I tried to study on whatever I can, and took the exam. Next, school holiday starts.

I became more depressed. No more study pressure. I am lost in my own mind, hiding in my room. I watched movies over and over again on my laptop. Can’t read because it’s so hard to focus. Anxiety and restlessness hits me hard during midnight up until morning, which causes me to wake up around afternoon almost everyday. It got so bad that I had no motivation to get out of bed and shower, for 2 days straight. My mum was screaming when she came back home, seeing me like this. 

I can’t forget her look when she saw me few days later, awoke, cleaning up my wardrobe. I think she almost want to cry. To see the look on her face, seeing me finally getting out of bed, and doing something, even if it seems so simple to you, but so so big to my dearest mum. She knows that I am taking a baby step towards battling depression.

I’m not saying that I am 100% better now. There’s always ups and downs. But at least I am moving on now, trying to overcome depression in every step I take. Just don’t expect immediate results. We’re not robots who can programmed in minutes. We need time. Just don’t get too caught up with time as well. 

So what’s good 2017?

I want to have absolutely no regrets. Yes, this year, to risk everything and regret nothing. 

You know how the events that you’d never expect to happen in your life, such as, a career change, marrying not your current boyfriend/girlfriend, etc, well a lot of that kind of event happened to me in 2016. From Science to Arts stream, from Matriculation to STPM, and so so many more, but here I am. Still standing on my own. 2016 has been mindblowing. All the things that I never expect to happen, happened. Too many bad memories in 2016, but I am glad to say that I learned.