Write it up

Hello friends!

My colleagues have been the most generous people on Earth. We get to eat cake once a month when we celebrate those with birthdays that month, on some days, they’d bring food and snacks, some would treat us with Mcdonalds, and our lady boss also gave the office free KFC and pizza. To stick with my diet seems nearly impossible. I should avoid all the free food but the temptation is too strong. To add the destruction that happened to my body, I spent my CNY holidays eating pizza, maggi, junk foods, while watching Netflix. I completed all episodes on Stranger Things, 13 Reasons Why, and a few more movies and TV-shows that I watched halfway. Diet? Fuck it. (Secretly planned to fast for a few days in hope I can shed a few kilos) 

13 Reasons Why is just sad and mysterious throughout the 13 episodes.  I’ve watched sad movies, but they usually include a few comedy in it, but 13 Reasons Why is just pure sadness. I won’t say I cried watching it, having the similar experience as Hannah Baker does not make me cry surprisingly. The more I watched, the more I hate Hannah. Oh God forgive me. And I feel so relieved that I finished high school!

Alright, I just wrote a paid article 2 months ago, and you can read it here

Ah its just a simple article but I learned my mistakes while writing it, and hopefully it’ll pave my way to writing better.


No pay leave

I worked for 2 months now and I finally took my first leave, a no pay leave, since I’m still under probation. God bless! I actually have a doctor’s appointment today plus I gotta go to KL to pick up my shoes, so I feel kinda proud for not simply taking leaves. I have a solid reason for this one day no pay leave haha. A small matter but means a lot to me because I always skip classes back in pre-U. To discipline mysef to come to work, heck I am now used to waking up early guys 😭 The same routine since high school but early mornings routine never stuck with me, and only now that I’m working it did. Better late then never I guess?

I just want to share how my day goes with you all 💃🏻


The desserts are from Bisou Bake Shop at Bangsar Village II, loveeee the Vanilla cupcake, but not the Pandan Gula Melaka cake. I have eaten the cupcake before and I still love it. I tried the Pandan Gula Melaka slice today and instantly regret the decision. Waste of RM10 and added my calories count 😂 There are better PGM cake elsewhere but not here.

The burger pic. BURGER! This was my first time trying out Bistro Benji’s at Bangsar Village as well, and damn the portion is big. Fried Chicken Burger ; RM28. I didn’t order any drinks as I had my drinks earlier, and they still served me plain water. They put a bottle of 1L I think. I thought to myself, that the service charge would probably be a lot if they give such a good service and free water! But I was wrong, the bill was RM28. All the extra charges are already included. And then I got RM20 voucher for when I eat there again, with minimum RM50 spent. LOVE! The burger was satisfying, the chicken patty compliments well with the veges, and the fries oh God, soooo good. The fries doesn’t taste plain & boring at all.

✨How do you spend your annual leave?

Leave him.


We can go through sleepless nights talking about the characteristic of a man that we would want to be in a serious relationship with, but there’s this one type that should be avoided. In fact, don’t even consider into being serious with him at first sight.

He who degrades.

He’s got a 10/10 profile, educated, stable job, rich perhaps, and a hot bod. What could go wrong? I actually experienced this myself, getting to know this kind of a man, only to be disappointed after awhile. As you all know, I have acne scars scattered on my cheeks & you can see them in my previous posts. So this particular guy texted me out of the thin air, having no direction towards my acne scars issue, he said to me “Rusty hair, acne-prone face.”


I was stunned. Ok I do know my face is problematic (the rusty hair tho, like you mean dark brown? are you colour blind?!) so why remind me again? I have lots of mirror in my house. (In fact I have 5) Haha. See this is my point guys. Imagine yourself posing in front of the mirror, tryna hype yourself up, asking the perfect guy you love, “Sweetheart, how do you think I look today?” To only be replied with, “Rusty hair, and acne-prone face.” Literally translates to go fuck yourself. Rarely did he ever compliment me. This is so negative to even begin with. Criticism is normal and should be accepted. But this is degrading. Imagine again being with a person who often degrades you, how draining it must be, your energy spent on arguments and feeling insecure all the time.

A relationship should be mutually beneficial. You bring out the best of each other. You grow mentally and physically. You slay and you never stop, the two of you conquering the world one step at a time. So my issue is that he never apologize. He didn’t even realize what he said was hurtful and just fucking rude. All I got was “I don’t give a damn.” from the motherfucker. I won’t reveal who he is but I have no shame in sharing with you all about this. I feel the need to remind you in case one of you might be in the same situation. I almost let this go, thinking how he is just so perfect as a husband one day, so maybe I should just forgive him and let it go. Take a step back now ye moron! Don’t do that. Never tolerate. You deserve someone who sees the good in you and even when he sees the bad, he will stand by your side, guiding you into being a better one.

What I am so pissed about is that he knows I spent a lot of money and time to fix my skin, and yet he criticized. He degrades. Almost 6 months spent on swallowing pills, and then buying vitamins, going for facial treatment, and I finally can see the light. Hahaha. I’m almost there guys, kicking the acne down the curb, only left with the scars. Do not ever settle for less. You may feel like you’re letting a very great man go, but you should know that you’re giving yourself a future on being with a person who will look at you and tell you how beautiful you are, every single day. Or maybe twice a week. Haha!

The Salad Situation

Have you watched the It movie? It is based on a novel by Stephen King, I have read the book and watched the movie. One overweight boy named Ben Hanscom grew up later losing those extra pounds and told the rest of the group members during their reunion that he managed to do so by eating a lot of salad and running more. Ben found a replacement for his junk food and thus he lost weight.

See, I am inspired by Ben in this novel. I wish I could gobble down on salad like he did but I secretly know that I can’t. I eat only a few type of vegetables and dislike the rest. So I think of a few vegetables that I can make into a salad. You know the salad in Mcdonalds Spicy Chicken Mcdeluxe burger? I can eat that, no problem. As I grocery shopped, I stare for quite a while at the vegetables section and try to think of any other veges that I would tolerate. Haha. Cherry tomatoes? It tastes ok, better than the big tomato. Carrots? Hate the taste but if thinly chopped it’ll be alright.

Popped in chicken breast, eggs, Thousand Island sauce (I know it has lots of calorie but this helps to curb the vege taste) and tofu into my shopping cart. I diced the chicken breast and marinated for a day with soy sauce, pepper, and lemon juice. Baked it in the oven for 20 minutes and oh my god from now on we puttin’ lemon in every dish!!!!! The chicken was amazing. I washed the veges and chopped what needs to be chopped. As I was cutting the tofu, I realized I bought the wrong tofu. I bought the soft tofu that people eat in tau fu fah 😂 That’s how bad my grocery shopping skill is. I thought they were the same!!! But I fried it anyway. Still too soft but let’s not waste em’.

Mixed everything with Thousand Island sauce, and I am ready to gobble down. After 3 spoons, I wanna puke. I ABSOLUTELY HATE SALAD. I tried squeezing more sauce but I am just overwhelmed with the Salad Situation. The salad taste good but vegetables did not. The chicken helped. You think I’m done with my salad? I forgot that I microwaved 2 eggs and I quickly bring them out, drained the excess water and put in my salad. STILL DOESN’T TASTE ANY BETTER. So I have another bowl of salad in my fridge and I don’t know what to do with it. The best would be to eat with a toasted bread, Subway-ish.

*eggs aren’t in the picture because I remembered about them after taking this picture.

Let me sleep

A bolster between my legs, a bantal busuk hugged tightly, a blanket wrapping me up from chest to toe, my sniffing the scent of pillow is somewhat soothing, and the soft friction between my skin and the bed…

And then the alarm rings.

I purposely set the alarm earlier than the time I am supposed to wake up so that I can happily sleep back, even for a while. I have attachment issues with my bed. I hate waking up from my sleep. I grunt and get pissed when I know I have to wake up. Not a good way to start the day, hence I am never a morning person. I don’t find joy in waking up early in the morning. Even though I get enough sleep, I still want to sleep more. I also do not have a water heater, so knowing that I have to brave through the fucking cold water, and by cold I mean ice cold, makes me hate waking up even more. This is such a negative post hahaha.

wake up


I get up at 7:10 mins (extra 10 mins matter!!!) an hour earlier spent on makeup and blow drying my hair. EVERYDAY. Yes, how different could it be from the usual routine of going to school early in the morning right? I have no idea, I don’t hate early mornings much back in high school I guess, I hate it more now. This week has been weird for me. I get tired from work, already jumping in my bed as soon as I arrived home, and sleeping before 12 am, which is way to early to sleep. 1 am, 2 am, is fine back then. Now, now I am 20 and sleeping like there’s no tomorrow. I can no longer stay awake for The Good Wife marathon, as I snored after 2 CDs and closed my eyes while it played on the laptop, ensuring myself that I would wake up again to watch, well I did not.

I imagine work later on would be hard to balance with having a fun life. Socializing, clubbing and other activities seem impossible if I put sleep first. Having sex also might be delayed when I’m married cause I’d just be dead asleep!!! Haha, dramatic. I need to do something more than having a same routine of work-home-sleep-work every single day. It kills me. I wanted to read more, workout more, and just grow mentally, for myself, during this long break. Maybe I should try keeping my eyes open for 2 hours before deciding to sleep, and fill the time with one of the activity I plan on doing.

stay awake


Entering the corporate world


I landed with a job in a corporate company about a week after I finished my final exam. I have already been searching for a job through MauKerja website and occasional walk ins, which leads me to a few interviews. There are only 2 reasons I didn’t get or want the jobs I applied previously,

  1. The salary is too low
  2. I’m not the suitable candidate

I was greedy. Julianna is a greedy little bitch. I search high and low for a job that will give me sufficient experience and something new to learn, alongside providing a better salary than the jobs I worked before. There are EPF & SOCSO that will be futher deducted from my salary, I am not greedy to spend the money, but to only make sure that I still have a reasonable amount left when deducted for me to put aside as savings. But I am worried as well as I don’t have any experience doing office work, had I only worked in places like Watsons, tuition teacher, beauty promoter, and retail sales related jobs. Interviews for those job are informal. This time, I prepared my resume a month before my finals end, and I excitedly applied to the jobs on MauKerja website, going to interviews, to only stumble when the interviewer asked me, “So tell me a little bit about yourself.” My mind went blank for 15 seconds. I’m not sure what to say, should I repeat what I typed on my resume? But its all there, so what’s the point asking me again? I went on with introducing my name and talking about my personality and previous working experience. It was short. I think I am doomed.

I went home face-palming at myself, and clicked on Youtube, Google for ways to introduce myself properly. My point is, now that I have learned it the embarrassing way, just a reminder to you and myself in the future, to always do your research because when you think you know enough already, you don’t. A few days later, I received a call from an insurance company I applied through the MauKerja, and passed the phone interview. There’s a second interview afterwards at the office located at a high tower building in the centre of Klang. They told me the interview would take about 3 hours, so I thought wow, this is a very serious and formal company. Little did I know that they did not describe thoroughly what the job I am applying for on the website, as I walked in to being pitched through a presentation that took 2 hours, telling me about a 10 years plan of being their insurance company partner. You know how annoying and persuading insurance people are right? I hate being one that’s for sure. Surprisingly, I was being honest the entire time, telling them how I have zero knowledge about insurance, how I am not sure if I am covered by insurance, or how I never buy into what an insurance sales person sell, but I think they like my honesty. Well I am a terrible liar anyway, so I cannot lie about things I don’t know.

Ok long story short, one day, I plan to enter every office in the BBT North Tower and apply for a job. While I’m at the 3rd floor, this particular office had already called me for an interview right away. The next day, Julianna starts working! I am your receptionist cum admin clerk. I have never did any office work before, so trust me when I say I am blur as fuck and just keep on trying to absorb everything as fast as I can. I wrote notes on Post-It and sticked it on the inside of my counter table until there’s no space left. I refer to my supervisor about anything I don’t understand, including how to transfer a phone call from a person to the other. That’s how stupid I am. It will annoy them I know, but to avoid mistakes I must do so. And I really enjoy learning from her, she trained me well with patience, and never once did she judged me for my dressing, or how I mistakenly called an older staff by her name, (Malays use Kak-female/Abang-male as a sign of respect to anyone older) (watched too much of The Good Wife).

I drink 2L of water everyday in the office, and another 1L at home. I pee for every 500mL I drank. And I have to inform my senior staff everytime I have to go to the toilet, how embarrassing, so she can replace me if anything. A simple job, one of the lower rank jobs compared to others in the office, but a big challenge for me, with many small details to remember, such as asking a Dato’ every morning when he enters if he wants a newspaper, or preparing drinks for when the partners of the company comes from overseas, those details. Communicating has been easy for me, but I still have a nerve wrack for every first time.

Do you all remember your first time working? How was it?

Counting days till 2018



2017-11-29 18:16:23.704

2017-11-30 15:43:37.236


I have been craving for the Terengganu keropok lekor for weeks but I settled for the usual keropok lekor sold at pasar malam. One day I bought a burger at the Ramly Mart, they sell both frozen products and have their own food kiosk, so I tried their keropok lekor. You know how Terengganu one is different from the usual right? It has more fish and tastes sooooo much better. Guess what! Ramly sells their own Terengganu keropok lekor for only RM6.80 a packet! Its hard for me not having a direct supply of keropok lekor from Terengganu so I’ll accept this haha.

It has been almost 4 months of me taking Doxycycline for my severe acne and I can say I am satisfied with it. There’s only 3-4 acne left on my cheeks, and the rest are acne scars. WHICH FRUSTRATES ME THE MOST. Scars take forever to completely disappear. I am now using Hiruscar Post Acne Gel and Hakubi White C plus (vitamin C supplement) to treat the scars. From my research, vitamin C is the best source to treat scars. There’s plenty of it in the form of serum and supplements, so choose which suits you best. I am happier now that when I put on makeup, the acne bumps are no longer there. I do struggle with dry skin and yes the scars of course. I don’t have the skills to cover em up with makeup yet 😂

And exams over! Phewww. 9 months long break before degree so I plan to work, lose weight, read more, and focus on building myself mentally also physically. We have a month left before 2018 begins, so let’s finish 2017 strong. I aim to workout intensely and do a strict diet, because I want to end 2017 feeling proud of myself. For now I am alternating between working out and eating afterwards so…..bitch when will you stop eating?!

What’s your plan?

Just breathe

Sometimes I question myself, “Why do I stay in my room so much when I can go out and witness a view like this?”

Hospital Tengku Ampuan Rahimah, Klang


Since my paper starts at 11am today, I went to pick up my acne medicine at the GH pharmacy first thing in the morning. Arrive early, empty parking lot. I did this before when I attended my Psych appointments. Just walk around or sit and look at the view from this 3-storey parking lot. Very peaceful. Today, as I listened to Breathe (2AM) by Anna Nalick, one of the songs I used to listen back in the depressed days, this song has different meaning to me now. To just breathe, calm down, and think of nothing else, is such a privilege and a blessing. Nothing made me feel happy at the moment. In fact I am having tons of life problems. But looking up at the sky, as the sunrise, is what made me smile.

When I was in high school, my view from the class was the GH. I can see it clearly from afar, in the shape of Titanic funnily. It is the same feeling as I’m having now, a peaceful view, reminding me how little my problems are, and how life is so much more than worrying or caring what other people say of you.

🎶 Try listening to Japanese Denim by Daniel Caesar