Leave him.


We can go through sleepless nights talking about the characteristic of a man that we would want to be in a serious relationship with, but there’s this one type that should be avoided. In fact, don’t even consider into being serious with him at first sight.

He who degrades.

He’s got a 10/10 profile, educated, stable job, rich perhaps, and a hot bod. What could go wrong? I actually experienced this myself, getting to know this kind of a man, only to be disappointed after awhile. As you all know, I have acne scars scattered on my cheeks & you can see them in my previous posts. So this particular guy texted me out of the thin air, having no direction towards my acne scars issue, he said to me “Rusty hair, acne-prone face.”


I was stunned. Ok I do know my face is problematic (the rusty hair tho, like you mean dark brown? are you colour blind?!) so why remind me again? I have lots of mirror in my house. (In fact I have 5) Haha. See this is my point guys. Imagine yourself posing in front of the mirror, tryna hype yourself up, asking the perfect guy you love, “Sweetheart, how do you think I look today?” To only be replied with, “Rusty hair, and acne-prone face.” Literally translates to go fuck yourself. Rarely did he ever compliment me. This is so negative to even begin with. Criticism is normal and should be accepted. But this is degrading. Imagine again being with a person who often degrades you, how draining it must be, your energy spent on arguments and feeling insecure all the time.

A relationship should be mutually beneficial. You bring out the best of each other. You grow mentally and physically. You slay and you never stop, the two of you conquering the world one step at a time. So my issue is that he never apologize. He didn’t even realize what he said was hurtful and just fucking rude. All I got was “I don’t give a damn.” from the motherfucker. I won’t reveal who he is but I have no shame in sharing with you all about this. I feel the need to remind you in case one of you might be in the same situation. I almost let this go, thinking how he is just so perfect as a husband one day, so maybe I should just forgive him and let it go. Take a step back now ye moron! Don’t do that. Never tolerate. You deserve someone who sees the good in you and even when he sees the bad, he will stand by your side, guiding you into being a better one.

What I am so pissed about is that he knows I spent a lot of money and time to fix my skin, and yet he criticized. He degrades. Almost 6 months spent on swallowing pills, and then buying vitamins, going for facial treatment, and I finally can see the light. Hahaha. I’m almost there guys, kicking the acne down the curb, only left with the scars. Do not ever settle for less. You may feel like you’re letting a very great man go, but you should know that you’re giving yourself a future on being with a person who will look at you and tell you how beautiful you are, every single day. Or maybe twice a week. Haha!


How to love

Screaming and crying in my bed, saying I just don’t want to get hurt. 

I don’t want to get hurt.

I tell myself.

And I slowly take a step back, avoiding love. And I slowly shut all the doors to my heart. And that’s how I slowly died inside. As long as I don’t get hurt, I tell myself. 



The age of exploring into the grownups world. We start to pay bills on our own, drive out to places without depending on anyone, and know when we should go to the clinic when we’re sick.

By this time, I realized what I want if I were to be in a relationship. To be honest, I am not looking to be in a relationship because I have build a wall so high around my heart, preventing anyone from hurting me. Only I can hurt myself. 

Okay so let’s imagine if I have a boyfriend. What do I want from him if he were to be my husband? Well…

  1. I want a guy who doesn’t follow everything I say. It’s weird how women nowadays want their partner to obey to everything they say. It may sound all cotton candy sweet, but in reality, I want a guy who can make decisions. Rational decisions. That shows the maturity of the partner, being able to think before agreeing to something, meaning that he/she won’t be easily influenced by a third person. That is what they’re for, correct me if I’m wrong, and vice versa. 
  2. A guy who values time. They know the importance of being punctual!!! This is a little portion of having a good attitude. Is what turns on women 😏 I cannot deal with people who cannot be punctual, even worse, thinking this as a laughing matter. That gives a peek into what your manners are like. 
  3. Hygiene!!!!! I am trying so hard not to judge a person physically, but seriously, hygiene problems turns off ANYONE! Unless you do have a skin problem and such, I would understand that, as I also have eczema and a sensitive skin. But a bad hygiene just shows up clearly dude. The fingernails, nose hairs, ear wax, and so on. Thinking how I must change a person before getting married just means that we do not belong together anymore. 

What qualities are you looking for in your partner? Let me know in the comments!

Thank you for reading 🤓