This is for you Aubrey!

A sweet girl named Aubrey requested for me to do a more thorough review on the 6 matte lip creams that I won from Kamelia Cosmetics. Sure girl! Anything for you. And to be just clear, I will be 100% honest of how I feel after quite some time using their matte lip creams ๐Ÿ˜‰

Okay by the first swipe, the colour is seriously pigmented. The lip applicator though is a bit hard for me to line my lips, it’s not that precise, I suggest you girls wear a lip liner first and then only you apply the MLC. Always, always, scrub your lips or use a wet cloth after shower for a smooth sexy looking matte lips ๐Ÿ‘„ I love how the MLC stays for a long time and the infused Argan oil feels good whenever I apply it. I have a sensitive skin so I usually can feel the reaction on my lips if there’s something funny with the lipstick, but not with Mermaid Matte Lip Cream! Also, it does not smudge easily. It stays put. Loveeeee ๐Ÿ˜ 

The cons of the lip cream is, after eating, the colour changes a bit. Especially if I eat oily food. Some other lipstick would get off, but this one, the colour becomes ugly and one time I actually didn’t notice this happening! So embarrassed gosh. My lips look like I ate a sugar donut icing haha. I strongly suggest that after eating etc, check your lips and always bring a wet tissue or a makeup remover to wipe off the mess and apply a new layer! Leceh lah  untuk I to be honest, lagi-lagi bila kat sekolah kan, tak sedar that my lips nampak macam apa je ๐Ÿ˜ญ jadi kena prepare check and betulkan my lipstick. If you want to wear this, I remind you again, bring a small mirror and wet tissue just if anything goes wrong!! 


From the top : Pearl, Nixie, Ariel, Jewel

I love the first 3 shades!!! Can mix & match. Jewel doesn’t suit me ๐Ÿ˜‚ there’s another 2 shades but I gave it to my girlfriends hehe. If you are not a fan of a strong scent of lipstick, this is perfect for you. It has this sweet soft scent, and no you won’t be able to taste the scent on your lips. 

*RM39 each (Instagram : @kameliacosmetics) 

Thank you for reading ๐Ÿ’‹

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The look on her face

I had been skipping schools for almost a month, just right before my 1st semester examination. Depression hit me hard at the time. I started on Prozac by then. I tried to study on whatever I can, and took the exam. Next, school holiday starts.

I became more depressed. No more study pressure. I am lost in my own mind, hiding in my room. I watched movies over and over again on my laptop. Can’t read because it’s so hard to focus. Anxiety and restlessness hits me hard during midnight up until morning, which causes me to wake up around afternoon almost everyday. It got so bad that I had no motivation to get out of bed and shower, for 2 days straight. My mum was screaming when she came back home, seeing me like this. 

I can’t forget her look when she saw me few days later, awoke, cleaning up my wardrobe. I think she almost want to cry. To see the look on her face, seeing me finally getting out of bed, and doing something, even if it seems so simple to you, but so so big to my dearest mum. She knows that I am taking a baby step towards battling depression.

I’m not saying that I am 100% better now. There’s always ups and downs. But at least I am moving on now, trying to overcome depression in every step I take. Just don’t expect immediate results. We’re not robots who can programmed in minutes. We need time. Just don’t get too caught up with time as well. 

So what’s good 2017?

I want to have absolutely no regrets. Yes, this year, to risk everything and regret nothing. 

You know how the events that you’d never expect to happen in your life, such as, a career change, marrying not your current boyfriend/girlfriend, etc, well a lot of that kind of event happened to me in 2016. From Science to Arts stream, from Matriculation to STPM, and so so many more, but here I am. Still standing on my own. 2016 has been mindblowing. All the things that I never expect to happen, happened. Too many bad memories in 2016, but I am glad to say that I learned.

Julianna on Prozac

My second wave of depression has lead me to Prozac.ย In my previous post, I stated what isย Prozac,ย and in this post I am going to share with you why I need it and how’s my reaction to it so far.

One night, I was crying non-stop, feeling so anxious, walking around my room, and feeling suicidal. I know something must be wrong with me this time. I am crying again, but I don’t know why. Or maybe I don’t want to know why. I have to get help. I need to go to the Emergency Department for this. And that’s how I landed with Prozac in my mouth. The doctor gave me a prescription for Prozac for 1 week. Before reaching 1 week, I was admitted to the GH for 5 days because I had viral fever. 39.5C plus with a 160 heart rate sent me straight to the Red Zone. I stopped my meds for a while because I didn’t expect to be admitted. After being warded, I got another prescription of 40mg Prozac for 1 month. Now, I’m on 60mg Prozac for 1 month.

1st Week of 20mg Prozac (1 pill)

  • The crying stopped
  • I am mostly emotionless

1st Month of 40mg Prozac (2 pills)

  • Having ย a hard time to fall asleep for the first 2 weeks. I slept around 4-5am.
  • I have anxiety at night time, especially when I couldn’t sleep. THIS SERIOUSLY SUCKS. I am rolling on my bed here and there feeling anxious plus cannot sleep and I don’t know what to do.
  • Less crying, but it sucks when you want to cry but cannot haha. I also cried suddenly at times.
  • Towards the end of the month, I had a fucking headache that made me not stable to stand and walk. Vomited twice. Not sure if its the Prozac effect or nah.

1st Week of 60mg Prozac (3 pills)

  • The headache continues. I’ve been prescribed meds for it but it only helps me sleep. After that, I am feeling unstable again, and if I shift my head from a position too fast, I will start feeling even worse and nauseous.
  • Sleeps more. Because of the headache and lack of motivation.
  • Feeling extremely happy sometimes.
  • Less anxious.

So that’s how it goes. Thank you for reading!

 

 

Hey I’m back

Ayyyyyyyyyy.

I am super duper sorry for being MIA for so long, well, I have been through rough times of my life, my depression came back. 

WTF.

How dare you depression you came back?! I did not invite Mr. D to my party at all ok.  I had it before and I got well, but now I have no idea why I am having depression again, but I consulted my psych and the best thing for me now is to consume medication. 

Prozac or Fluoxetine is an anti-depressant that I am taking. It’s an SSRI (Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitor), which functions to lift up my mood. To ease your understanding, go watch a Youtube video of it, you’ll understand better.  

I wish to share my experience with you guys because I think it’ll help those who are trying to understand what depression feels like and plus we can support each other in here. Right? 

What about you? Tell me your story. 

Gila-book review

A book review! Yayyy. 

I accidentally found this book at Popular and I was in a mind battle with myself, screaming  you don’t want to buy this you don’t want to buy this and the next thing I know is, the cashier was smiling to me while giving me a receipt. This book is quite thin and the content was so tempting to read! An issue related with what I had experienced and what Malaysia seems to be lacking of awareness about it. 

Mental Health

Title : Gila (crazy) A Journey Through Moods and Madness

Author : Hanna Alkaf

Plus, 25% rebate on the book!!!! What could be better. 


Basically, the book reveals true short stories of Malaysians with all kinds of mental illnesses. It may be quite a norm to those non-Malaysians, but, the situation in Malaysia now is that we seriously lack mental health awareness. To have a mental problem would be something very shameful, and had to be kept a secret. In reality, I have encountered many parents who are still reluctant to bring their kids to the psychiatrist when they are suspected with ADHD. The stigma is still strong. Although the situation has improved nowadays, with more organizations or movements to help battle with the stigma surrounding mental illness, and we also have a helpline for those who feel suicidal, or just want to talk to someone. 

This book were narrated by Hanna very well, the English used was simple and easy to understand. I enjoy reading it seriously. The short stories gives a peek into what a person with mental illness feels like. That itself is what important for Malaysians. We ignore because we don’t know. Hanna Alkaf unraveled all that, plus, with limited facts, statistics, regarding the issue, to help steer readers into what is happening now. Hanna also provides tips on how to handle, what you should do, and my most favorite of all, a list of mental institution that you could go to get help, by the end of the book. 

I tried to find the book on the Popular Bookstore Malaysia’s website for you but it was not available. Maybe you can find them at MPH etc. A must read! 

Thank you for reading ๐Ÿค“

I can go to events alreadyย 

Hi! Waddup readers ๐Ÿค“ Last Saturday, I attended the ASEAN YOUNG ENTREPRENEUR CARNIVAL 2016 at Matrade, Kuala Lumpur as an invitation from them. Lemme brief you bout the event. #AYEC2016 is a 2 day program, the main purpose is for our young entrepreneurs to network, meet investors, pitch your idea, and all that. It really benefits those who are hungry to build more connections. The 2 day event are divided into 3 parts, 

The first day and second day is The Expo (free for everyone to come) and The Field (have to pay, there are invited speakers from ASEAN countries), the closing ceremony of the second day is The Applause (Have to pay also, award night). This event also gives awards to the selected companies and entrepreneurs! The award night is The Applause. 

I got the all access pass. (Sounds damn cool)  which I get as an invitation ๐Ÿ˜Ž 

Guess what, I came for The Applause only haha. I am really excited for the awards night! I dressed up formally, arrived at Matrade 2 hours early before the night, just to walk around and I got asked if I have my business card. 

Like, I’m 19 and I am here because of an invitation onlyyyy gosh. They’re all grabbing clients aren’t they! 



The whole price for the 2 day event is RM350. This is a seriously a great chance  for youngsters, startups, anyone, with great ideas, and the will, yall need to be here and meet awesome people. To succeed now we are the ones that have to search for opportunities. Be HUNGRY! 

Okay now I’m hungry imma go eat. 

Thank you for reading ๐Ÿ‘ฝ 


1 Malaysia Debt of Billions

It’s amazing how Najib is in total deep shit and there Malaysians still supporting him. That just shows how people don’t read and do research much. All we do is listen to others and go with ones opinion. I can’t believe how we’ve all been lied and manipulated since 2009. This Najib and the 1MDB scandal and corruption is so mindblowing. The story is very long and takes time to understand. But once you finish reading this article, it’ll shed some light and you’ll see Najib as a whole different person. 

Read on 1MDB here ๐Ÿ™‚ Enjoy! Have a coffee or Milo by your side hehe. 

I called the radio station

Selena Gomez Revival Tour. 25th July 2016.

Okay I’m not a big fan of Selena, I don’t even have her songs in my playlist.

But Fly Fm is giving out free tickets to her concert!!!! There are two ways, either you hunt down the #AgentGomez by following the clues they gave on Instagram, or, by calling the radio station once the cue call is announced. 

I was driving to school, 6:45 am-ish like that, and was listening to Fly Fm, and they announced the first cue call of the day (cue calls happening all day long on 21st July) and I grabbed my phone and dialled the number while driving which is bad for yall ok don’t follow, one hand on the steering and one hand……..on my phone. Sadly I didn’t get through as the luckiest caller ๐Ÿ˜ข I called through the whole day, even when I’m in school and all I get was user busy answering me back like what. the. hell. After school I had to go to work and there’s not many people that day, so I spent my time calling Fly Fm again ๐Ÿ˜‚ #desperate 

Fact : More than 500 calls have been made. 

Around 5:30 pm, I was still dialling Fly Fm and they answered me. 

Hi how can I help you?”

For a second I thought….help me win this shit.

I played the honest card and she asked me to scream the Selena Gomez Revival Tour (for practice only) but I didn’t scream it out loud cause I’m in the mall what do you expect, me screaming the line on top of my lungs?! ๐Ÿ˜‚  She said the cue call would be in about an hour, so I waited anxiously until then. 

6:10 pm, yes I know it’s early but I am so on my competitive mode so I called and called Fly Fm, and she answered me again! Walaoweh. Feeling so lucky. Surely I can win this one. She asked me to scream the line again and I did it then she asked me what my name is and she was surprised that I am the previous caller haha. She said to call again in 15 minutes.

This is torture. I was shaking and smiling like crazy. Thinking of who I would invite to go to the concert already. 

6:25 pm. I’ve never pressed the dial back button so fast in my whole life before. Sadly there was a caller that managed to get through because of my mistake of counting to 5 to dial them back again just because I feel like I’m dialling too much. Never do that. Just press it like crazy!!!! 

Hopes shattered. The next morning, I was driving to school again, calling Fly Fm with hopes that they will answer me and I’ll fake crying sounds a bit hahaha. Accidentally, the time that I called them was another cue call for another contest, which is guess this sound of a song and win RM550. 

You’re our luckiest caller number 5!” 

I had to guess the song and I answered Never Be Like You-Flume and it was ALSO WRONG WTH HAHA. I’m so in a bad luck that I had to hear my voice on the radio, guessing the song wrong. (I recorded it cause yeah my voice was on the radio!!!) 

So yeah it’s crazy how this turn out to be. Hahahaha made my morning. #loveyouflyfm 

๏ปฟWHY YOU SHOULD DOWNLOAD THESE APPS

After long consideration of what apps I have been using frequently and loving, here’s the Top 4 Apps you need! (You’ll love them) 

1. ANALOGFILM 
I have to be honest, I hateeeee filters on my photos. I don’t like using it, it confuses the shit out of me, I can’t decide between two filters and it makes me sooooo mad hahaha. I always always choose the #nofilter way because I firmly believe in the need of real photos here. This app changes my mind. I mean, you can choose what kind of filter you want to change the way your photos look. You want it to be Paris kind of filter? London? Budapest? And many more. This app provides filters based on your need. It gives you the choice of choosing what kind of filter you want for all your photos. I downloaded two apps from AnalogFilm, the Analog Paris and Analog London. 

Each for only USD 0.99 which is MYR3.96

*Analog Paris

*Analog Paris


*Analog London

For each app, 10 filters will be given. (Except for Analog Paris, it has extra filters for colors.) If you have specific filters you use or want for your Instagram layout, you can check out the apps based on the landmark one by one and see which suits you best.

2. ZALORA 

For shopaholics!!!! I’m calling you out!!! Gosh this app makes me broke. Like literally. I’ve been spending like there’s no tomorrow and I keep on scrolling on this app for the latest clothing, handbag, shoes, you name it! They have the best of brands. I always love it when they have sales. Who doesn’t?! You can check out the latest trends and the cheapest heels on Zalora! (I found heels for only MYR49) 



*I want that Zalia Embellished Mermaid Dress so bad but I think they’re sold out๐Ÿ˜ญ 

3. H&M

I don’t need to explain much here. You know the brand. It is not just a regular you-can-access-to-h&m-easily-app! They have more than that which is why I am keeping this and never uninstalling it. 

The feature that I love most. I can read up fashion articles and always know the most It-trend.

4. SPOTIFY 

THE BEST APP IN THE WORLD! A must download. Free songs forever! No need to waste money buying at iTunes while I can listen to the same songs with the same quality in Spotify. 


Disclaimer : This post is not sponsored guys. Nobody is paying me to say good things about their apps. I just happen to be using it and I love it so I share to the whole world! ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ’ž 

Thank you for reading! Chin up! You’re awesome. 

A day in Bangsarย 

This post was meant to be written on Monday but I’ve been delaying in since forever because I’m not in the mood to blog. I’m not like busy or anything, I also don’t really celebrate Hari Raya so there’s no reason for me to be lazy! Julianna you need to deal with yo self girl. Stop delaying shits. Ugh such a procrastinator. One thing I would never delay doing is…..eating. 

Okay so what am I doing in Bangsar on Monday?!?! Meeting my in-laws? Shopping for raya? Wasting my gas? 

The last one is kinda true but it is sooooo worth it. I drove all the way to Bangsar because I want to meet the amazing, the beautiful, the genius, the fabulous……..Vivy Yusof! It’s not like she wants to meet me or anything, she posted on Instagram that she’ll be coming to the FashionValet store in Bangsar at 11am! And the crazy little me whispered that I should wake up early and go to Bangsar Village 2. I’ve been there before so this is my second time, and along the way, I wanted to buy some makeup from Catrice Cosmetics (drugstore) at Guardian in BV2. Omg guys, the drugstore brand is already so so so cheap and on that day, they’re having a 30% discount on selected items!!!!!

WTH? I looooove discounts. 

You need this. RM8+ for awesomely pigmented glitter eyeshadow?! YES. I repeat, you need this.

THIS IS CRAZYLY PIGMENTED!! I don’t know how to caps lock this anymore but I have been looking for a matte eyeshadow and I swear by this, RM8+ also peeps! I’m so gonna cry. 


RM17+ for a lipstick?! Smells so gooood, it is pigmented and ahhhhhhh I love everything about this lipstick. It is moisturizing and doesn’t dry my lips at all.

All this for RM34+. Worth my trip. I get 3 products! You can go to Guardian’s website and search for the Catrice Cosmetics in the nearest store to you. 


*wearing all 3 products for this look

Last but not least………….

Iman was there earlier and she was folding clothes. The girl boss is coming! 

Waiting for Vivy to finish chatting with this Aunty. Aunty can you hurry up?! 


I am surprised at how calm I was when I asked for a picture with her. I swear I usually squeal and you know, do things that embarrassed myself when I’m excited. It really made my day and I could not stop smiling when I see this picture. Today and tomorrow got 10% off all products so go crazy okay?!-Vivy said to me. ๐Ÿ˜ญ